How can I become a trauma-informed foster parent?

Children in foster care have experienced significant trauma and often need help learning how to appropriately express their complex emotions. Responding to a child’s behaviors as a trauma-informed foster parent means shifting your perspective from “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?”

Prioritizing the child’s sense of safety and connection, this approach teaches you to look beyond challenging behaviors to see underlying emotions. When you understand the biological impact of children’s hard histories, you’ll be better equipped to provide the stability and compassion that help them begin to trust again.

What is trauma-informed foster care?

Trauma-informed foster care 1) recognizes that adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) impact a child’s brain development and behavior; and 2) teaches caregivers how to modify parenting techniques.

Children in foster care are often exposed to long periods of intense stress which research describes as “toxic stress.” Ongoing high stress can affect how the brain develops, especially in the prefrontal cortex, where planning, self-control, and decision-making take place.

When a child is stuck in constant “survival mode,” their behavior is driven more by stress responses than by rational thinking. Brain science and neurodevelopment research show that standard, logic-based discipline may not be very effective in these situations, and foster caregivers shouldn’t try to view a child’s outbursts as simple defiance.

Nearly 50% of children in foster care have experienced three or more ACEs. This helps caregivers understand that a child’s behaviors actually represent survival strategies and reveal a nervous system stuck in “fight, flight, or freeze.”

The trauma-informed foster care (TIFC) model recognizes that ACEs impact a child’s brain development and behavior. The need is critical for caregivers to be trained to look beneath the surface of a child’s behavior to find the underlying need.

Attachment, regulation, and competency (ARC)

ARC focuses on strengthening the caregiver-child relationship, supporting both those who have experienced complex trauma and those who care for those who have experienced the trauma. ARC builds the child's emotional self-regulation skills and supports the developmental competencies that trauma often interrupts or delays.

To learn more about ARC, visit ARC’s website

Tip from ARC: Focus on “co-regulation” first. When a child is melting down, your calm presence acts as an external nervous system for them until they can find their own footing. This step can be the hardest for parents. Keeping yourself well-regulated during chaos or a child’s distress can be difficult, but it’ is imperative.

Trust-based relational intervention (TBRI®)

TBRI is an attachment-based, and trauma-informed intervention designed to meet the complex needs of children with backgrounds of neglect or abuse, replying on three main pillars:

1. Connecting Principles® to build relationship and trust. Trust has to happen before any growth or learning can take place. Connection helps free the child from “fight, flight, or freeze”/survival mode.
2. Empowering Principles® to address unmet or physical needs, like hydration and sensory input. Empowering Principles help a child express what their needs are so the caregiver can help.
3. Correcting Principles® to shape behavior through proactive engagement

To learn more about TBRI, visit the TBRI website or the Empowered to Connect website.

Tip from TBRI: Try “re-do’s.” If a child asks for something disrespectfully, give them a chance to try the interaction again in a respectful tone. This reinforces desirable behavior rather than just punishing undesirable behavior. Re-do’s can look like, “Are you asking me or telling me? Can you try that again as a question?”

In addition to re-do’s, give a child choices from a list of acceptable options. This could look like, “Would you like to brush your teeth first or put on your shoes first?”

How do I integrate a biblical perspective into trauma-informed care?

Integrating a biblical perspective into trauma-informed care means viewing foster care as a ministry of reconciliation, mirroring God’s heart for people who are in vulnerable situations.

Every child and birth family member is an image-bearer of God and deserves love that is patient, kind, and does not keep record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:4-5).

Spiritual support is a vital protective factor for foster families. 98% of parents trained in trauma-informed models report increased confidence. This integration of clinical best practice and faith in action creates an environment where both the child and the foster family are supported.

Tip: Pray for the children in your care. This mindset shifts the focus from your frustration to the child’s restoration. In fact, you can apply this prayer and mindset approach to everyone, not just children.

How do I take the next step toward trauma-informed foster parenting?

Becoming a trauma-informed foster parent is a journey of continuous learning that requires moving from a mindset of “fixing” to a mindset of “healing.” By learning and applying these models, you can provide the consistency and felt safety that allows a child to move beyond survival mode and eventually thrive.

You don’t have to do this alone. Specialized training and clinical support are available to help your family thrive and remain a place of refuge

What kind of results can I expect from trauma-based therapy?

According to Bethany’s clinical outcomes, families participating in trauma-based therapy experience significant drops in child anxiety, hyperactivity, and aggression. Additionally, 97% of adoptive parents report that programs like ADOPTS are a valuable support, leading to gains in a child’s social skills, leadership, and overall flexibility.