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An Awesome Privilege
Barbara Fletcher
As I sit on my couch, I watch our beautiful two-year-old son play with his toys. I look at his hair that in near perfection matches his dad’s. His captivating blue eyes, the same as his dad’s. His quick wit, even at just two years old, is a trait he shares with his father. I look at him in wonder and amazement because there are no shared biological ties between my husband, our son, and me. He is so much a part of us, yet he is adopted. It’s funny because I do not think of him as “adopted.” He is fully our son… ;so much a part of us, that it sometimes hurts inside to realize that it was not my womb that carried him.
I love the fact that our son and my husband are so similar. But I also realize that this is not always the case, whether the child is adopted or biological. And the plain fact is that our capacity to love is not dependent upon “ biology” or “similarity.” Children need to be loved unconditionally, and what a joy and privilege it is when God brings a child into our lives to love. It is as if He is trusting us with the most important job on the entire earth.
If you are wondering whether you have the capability to love a child not born to you, ask yourself this question: “Do you want to be parents?” There is a difference between being a parent and wanting a child simply to make sure the family name is carried on, or wanting “a little me.” A parent is someone who takes on the responsibility of raising and caring for a child in love, regardless of specific traits or “genes.” It’s unconditional love, plain and simple. Parents desire to see their child become all that God wants him or her to be, and they willingly make sacrifices to ensure the best possible outcome.
For me, adoption has been an awesome privilege. The hole that was in my life for many years has been filled to overflowing. I could never have imagined the outpouring of love that I now feel for our child. All of the pain and sorrow that I felt for so long has evaporated. I am having the experiences that I longed for in years past. God has given me my heart’s desire, although not in the way I had always planned for it to happen. I have come to realize that adoption is not settling for second best, it is just another path to the goal of parenthood.
If you feel that God is leading you toward adoption, then rejoice and go for it! It may be a challenging process, or it may be a relatively simple one. I can only tell you from experience that, either way, it’s well worth it. I believe in my heart that adoption is a wonderful option. My husband and I have been down many roads on our quest to be parents, and we are more and more grateful every day that we decided to adopt.
In fact, we wouldn’t have it any other way.
Reprinted from the Stepping Stones newsletter
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