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 by Cheryl Jordan
Dear Friend,
This letter comes from someone on the other side. Not the "fertile" side, but the "parent" side. I think of you every day. I remember my own struggle to maintain hope. I sometimes relive my own pain and tears of disappointment through your disappointments and tears. I cry for you because I feel the sadness you feel. I know it sounds impossible that anyone could ever know how you feel, but I think I do.
After five years of infertility treatment and 18 months of waiting for an adoption, I learned to skip the "success stories" when Stepping Stones newsletters arrived. I just couldn't handle hearing about anyone else's success. I guess I was afraid that I was the exception . . . I was the one who would never be a mom. I doubted that there was anyone who felt as alone as I did. I especially doubted that anyone who was a parent could understand my pain.
From the outside, I look like any other mother at the grocery store . . . pushing my son in the shopping cart, picking out items and softly talking to him or tickling his feet. But I am not.
Like you, I waited a long, long, time to have a child. For years, I wanted nothing more than to quit my job and stay home with my baby. But I lost all hope. I hit rock bottom.
Not a day goes by that I don't thank the Lord for giving me the gift of our son. (Parents of teenagers tell me that I may not always feel that way.) As I watch you walk along your own fertility journey with the ups and mostly downs, I want to lend you some hope. Mostly, I just want to remain your friend.
In endurance races, a runner needs a few reliable people to help her finish the race. Some provide food to help sustain her. Some offer support by running a few miles with her in the dark hours of the night and morning, carrying her flashlight and helping her navigate the wooded trails. These helpers are her "crew." Though the runner has to finish the 100-mile race herself, her "crew" makes sure she is supported and never left alone, especially during the most difficult miles.
I hope I can be one of your crew to provide support and walk with you on your darkest days. Please know that I am praying for you, always.
In friendship,
Cheryl
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