• DOMESTIC INFANT ADOPTION
• Mark Schultz
• Types of Infant Adoption
• Open Adoptions
• Semi-Open Adoption
• Confidential Adoption
• Domestic Infant Adoption FAQ
• The Power of Words
• Adoption Dictionary
• Disrupted Adoption Plan
• Helping Yourself
• Help from Family & Friends
• A Healing Service
• Information Meetings
• Resources

The Power of Words

Our words reflect our values and our emotions. They wound or heal, alienate or educate.

The words we use reveal as much about us and our values as they do about the situations that we are trying to describe. Our views, experiences, biases, and assumptions are intrinsically woven into the words we use to communicate every day.

The language of adoption is full of expressions we have “always heard” and all too often use. These expressions shape the perceptions of both the people who use them and the people who hear them. They convey our values and biases, and they can encourage or interfere with communication.

The importance of being aware of the values that our words convey is not confined to the language of adoption. It can be as simple as deciding whether to use the word “problem” or “challenge” when it comes to describing a child’s behavior. A disagreement can be described as a difference of opinion or an argument. The subtle nuances between the words we choose and those we do not can elicit profoundly different responses from the listener because the listener hears through the filter of his or her own experience and emotion.

It is the same with adoption. The simple choice of words can reveal our views and communicate a great deal to a listener. Do we see adoption as a way to meet the needs of children, or is it something we really cannot understand? We encourage social workers, adoptive parents, birthparents, board members, volunteers, and supporters to use language that accurately reflects the reality of adoption.

The following list is not exhaustive, but it reflects some of the more common words that we encounter as we minister to birth and adoptive parents in Jesus’ name.

Rather than... Real parent(s) Natural parent(s) Unwed mother Real child Illegitimate child Put up for adoption Give up for adoption Is adopted Keep a child Hard to place child Unwanted pregnancy Find parents Foreign adoption Adoptee “Gotcha Day”

We suggest... Birthparent(s), Birthmother, Birthfather Biological parent(s) Single parent Birthchild Child of unmarried parents Make an adoption plan Choose adoption Was adopted Parent a child Child with special placement needs Unplanned, unintended, or untimely pregnancy Search for birthparents Intercountry adoption Someone who was adopted Family Day* or Adoption Day *Family Day is a less formal term preferred by some adoptive families. It refers to the day when parents became a family by adopting a child or when the family was enlarged by the addition of an adopted child.