Parent Toolbox Tips
Trauma and Hyperactivity
Does your child have a problem with hyperactivity? Many times kids get wound up and have a hard time slowing their bodies and minds down when they need to. Did you know that many of the symptoms of trauma are very similar to the symptoms of ADHD?
Many children are diagnosed with ADHD when it is really trauma that is causing the symptoms. When children are exposed to ongoing trauma, their bodies respond by either becoming hyper-aroused or by shutting down. Trauma also affects children’s ability to regulate themselves, leading to inattentiveness, hyper-vigilance, mood swings, and sleep problems.
It is important for you to work with your child to teach the skill of self-regulation. Work with your child to help him (or her) learn how to slow down his body and mind. Have your child close his eyes and think about a place that is safe to him (or her), or you can practice taking deep breaths with him. Also, you may want to make a game of having your child do things in slow motion.
Meanings of Behaviors
Has your child ever stolen anything? Lied to you or others? Do you feel as though you are giving consequences for such behaviors every five minutes? If you are, it is important that you take a moment to think about the meaning behind the behaviors of lying or stealing.
If we, as parents, continue to give consequences but never arrive at the root of the problem, the behaviors will likely continue. The root of the problem is never just that the child is lying or stealing. It is likely that the child is dealing with some underlying feelings of sadness and/or anger, which are leading to such behavior.
To help our children understand and discover the meaning behind their behaviors, it is important that we have a dialogue with our children about their decisions—in a manner that is non-shaming and supportive.
For example, you might say to your child, “Wow, you must have been feeling pretty awful inside to steal something from someone else…. I wonder what might have made you feel so awful inside.” Your child might not respond to your statement right away, but with patience and perseverance, your child will be able to slowly understand that his (or her) feelings have a direct impact on his behavior.
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Previous Toolbox Tips:
Understanding Triggers and Feelings Identification
Attunement Activity
Appreciation Activity