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• Champion for the Unborn
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Champion for the Unborn

She suffered from guilt for 20 years. She hid her secret from her grandmother, her husband, and herself. The secret ate away at her soul and left her feeling hopeless and unworthy of forgiveness. Yes, she had made a big mistake, but she was just seventeen at the time and did not know where to turn.

You don’t realize how much abortion will affect the rest of your life. After the abortion, I was desperate to have my baby back. I didn’t know that I could be forgiven because when you regret your abortion, you think you can be forgiven for everything but an abortion. My decision affected me physically and mentally—especially the guilt.

Her fear of disapproval led her to make the decision she has regretted ever since. If she had told her family about her pregnancy, she is sure that her son would be alive.

My number one reason for having an abortion was that I was ashamed of my grandmother knowing that I had had sex. I was ashamed because I was a “good girl”—I went to church and did what I was supposed to do. But if I had told my grandmother, everything would have been fine. She would have helped me raise my baby. I know this because years later I discovered that my grandmother’s first son was born out of wedlock. And she had raised me, and my mother gave birth to me when she was not married.

The turning point came at a church service. Afterward, she found the courage to admit her mistake and ask God, her family, and herself for forgiveness. Once she began to pray to God, she was able to move forward and become a champion for the rights of the unborn.

About five years ago, a female evangelist spoke about abortion. I had never heard anyone speak about abortion during a church service other than “You’ll burn in hell,” and “It is murder.” I began to cry, and I realized that I had to stop punishing myself. After the service, I went up to sign an affidavit about my abortion experience. The evangelist was going to send the affidavits to Congress to let our leaders know how much abortion hurts women.

She found her voice through Silent No More Awareness, a Christian abortion awareness group. At an Annual March for Life in Washington, DC, she gave her first public testimony—on the steps of the Supreme Court—in front of cameras.

Talking about my abortion helped me heal. It was difficult to admit to other people—to say out loud—that I had had an abortion. It is not just about saving babies—it is about saving the moms and dads of these babies from the guilt they may experience. And it will help save women who suffer from all the physical ailments that can result from an abortion.

Felicia believes that God can take any bad thing and make it good. Since her abortion, she has spoken out against it and freely shares her story with anyone who will listen.

If anything good came out of my abortion, it was helping other women…and helping myself make the right decision the second time—at nearly 40 years old—when I had an unplanned pregnancy. It is difficult to admit this, but my knee-jerk reaction was that I needed to get an abortion. After I realized that the Enemy was trying to get me to
become a hypocrite by having an abortion, I went to the computer and typed “adoption.”Bethany’s name came up. I called immediately, and Bethany sent the lady to my home. Felicia continues to be amazed by the way Bethany treated her. Bethany never put any pressure on me. The entire time I was pregnant, I was struggling with the idea of placing my baby for adoption, but I knew that I could not bring my baby home. The whole time the staff were good to me and respectful of me. They were so nonjudgmental. They prayed for me and everyone affected by my pregnancy. I used to recommend adoption to people before, but now I know what it is like. My social worker
told me it wasn’t going to be easy, and she was right. I would not hesitate to tell people to call 1.800.BETHANY if they have an unplanned pregnancy.

Open adoption has given Felicia peace of mind.

I will always love my daughter. Because we have a completely open adoption, my daughter and I will be able to have a relationship, and she will know that I am her birthmother.

Felicia continues to be in contact with Bethany. She has her birthparent counselor’s number programmed into her cell phone, along with all of the other Bethany office numbers. She even plans on participating in a newly forming birthmother support group through Bethany. Felicia has not forgotten Bethany, and they have not forgotten her.

You know, we have relatives, and we have family. Sometimes we have relatives who are not family. And sometimes we have family, and they are not relatives. Bethany is part of my family.

This Scripture gives me comfort when I think about my abortion. God is with us from the beginning to the end. My son is with God forever.

Felicia lives in Tennessee. Felicia is featured in a new Bethany TV ad which is being broadcast throughout Tennessee. To view the ad, visit www.bethany.org/easttennessee.