Open

Common Elements of Open Adoption

  • The expectant parents meet potential adoptive families before making their selection.
  • The birth and adoptive families fully disclose identifying information (names and addresses) at the appropriate time.
  • There may be ongoing contact, such as: attending the birth of the child, attending physician visits together, visiting the home, gathering as extended family members during special occasions, etc.
  • There is direct correspondence between the families.
  • The families contact each other directly by telephone.
  • There are face-to-face meetings during the child's lifetime.

Advantages

Everyone involved in an open adoption communicates directly, without a third-party (mediator or agency). This plan allows both families to nurture their relationship as it naturally develops. Information is shared more easily in an open adoption.

Disadvantages

Sometimes adoptive parents and birthparents are uncomfortable with the level and type of birthfamily participation in the life of the child. There is also the possibility that the differing family styles and cultures may cause discomfort.

Keys to a Successful Open Adoption

Adoptive parents in an open adoption accept birthparent participation as a way to enhance their parenting and the life of their child, not to diminish it. Typically, they are confident enough to say "no" to birthparents without fear of jeopardizing their relationship with the birthfamily.

Birthparents who do well in open adoptions view their role not as parents, but as people who are very special to the family. They are accepting of the entire adoptive family and build a relationship centered on what is best for the child. These birthparents are typically mature individuals who understand the need for boundaries. Often they are goal-oriented, looking for achievement in a direction other than raising a family. Open adoption is most easily understood in the context of an "extended family" relationship.

Every adoption has circumstances that help to define the parameters that will be best for the participants. Children thrive when the circumstances that prompted the adoption decision for their lives are shared with them to their fullest. Relationships with some degree of openness seem to give adoptive parents the best opportunity to answer their children's questions most effectively. In open adoption plans, children grow knowing that they are loved by their family members—the parents who adopted them and the parents who gave them life.