The Support I Had Hoped For


Jesus said,
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28 NIV

By Brynn Maroney

There were many times when I questioned my salvation. I have always been a believer in the Lord and have always loved my church. Yet, many times I have gone against my better judgment and done things that I knew were sinful. I spent time with the wrong kind of people and, at 17, I became pregnant. I was a senior in high school, and I was terrified.

I made the decision to keep the baby. My pastor, my church, and everyone in my life supported me in my choice. In July 2001, I gave birth to a beautiful daughter, and though I continue to struggle, she is my entire world.

Despite the support I received, my behavior didn’t change. When my daughter was three years old, I again became pregnant. This time it was different, and I completely panicked. I have always been against abortion,
but in my frenzied state, that was my first thought. I was ashamed, embarrassed, and I knew that I was not able to provide for another child on my own. I was full of self-hatred, and I didn’t tell anyone—not even my mom—about the pregnancy. I also stopped going to church.

It was at that point that I knew my life needed a change. I knew that if I went through with the abortion, I could never live with myself. I decided that adoption was the best way to go. That way, the baby would still have the chance to have the great life he or she deserved. I still stayed away from church due to my embarrassment, but I told my family and friends, and once again, I got all the support one could ever hope for.

I contacted Bethany and made my plan. I found an amazing, understanding family who were willing to have an open adoption.

In July 2005, I gave birth to a perfect, healthy baby girl. She went home with her new family right from the hospital. That was my lowest point. I felt as if someone very close to me had passed away. I desperately prayed for forgiveness and for the strength to heal. The combination of counseling, pictures, and family helped, but I knew that I needed to be back with my church family where I could finally make the right kinds of changes for my life.

I returned to church and told my pastor everything. We talked, prayed, and cried. I was encouraged to get more involved in the church. Because of my return to the church, my life has changed for the better. I love both of my children, and I want them to have the best that life has to offer. I am now teaching the youth group, singing in the choir, and attending church three times a week. My faith has gotten me through these difficult times. Without it, I don’t know where I would be.

I am happy, my children are happy, and I know where I will spend eternity.

To share your experience with making an adoption plan, visit Bethany’s online forum at birthparents.bethany.org.