Endless Possibilities
I gave birth to my son late in the fall of 1997. Before he was born, I came to the conclusion that for his well-being, and my own, adoption would be best. I knew his life and mine were full of endless dreams, goals, and opportunities.
I did not want anything holding back the dreams I had for myself and for my son. I wanted him to have a life with both a mother and a father, similar to the life I had known. I wanted him to have fun and exciting family Christmas gatherings, adventuresome father-son retreats, and evening dinners with a mother and father who would listen to
his good times and bad. I wanted my son to have more than I ever did, yet be loved as much as I was. The emotional process of the adoption was difficult, but the opportunities that followed were endless.
During my pregnancy, I attended a technical center in the mornings, worked at my mother’s place of employment in the afternoon, and in the evenings received personal tutoring from a high school teacher volunteering her time. The exhaustion was overwhelming at times, and the loss of friends and social life brought on an indescribable amount of emotional pain. I focused every minute I could on school, pressing on with future goals and dreams.
I always knew that I wanted to attend college. I enjoyed the legal field and set that as my dream. I didn’t just want to work in a law firm but hoped to work in the legal department of a large corporation. Attending a legal secretarial class at the technical center helped me achieve that goal.
When I went to court for my son’s adoption, the judge asked me what I wanted to do with my life. I told him I wanted to work in a certain law firm in the city. Though his response was slightly discouraging, I continued to make that goal a part of my dreams.
A few months later, during our mock interviews in the legal secretary class, I received an employment offer from that very law firm. Both my teacher and parents were shocked. With my foot nudged in the door toward my career, I worked to open it all the way.
From my first job at that law firm, I managed to secure positions at other firms in the city. I worked as a file clerk, secretary, an immigration clerk, and a paralegal, all while attending college part-time. Though there were several downfalls, God always seemed to present me with something bigger and better in return. With my experience in the field of law, I decided to expand my knowledge into the world of finance.
I worked for a period of time with a broker at an investment firm and received experience buying, selling, and trading stocks, bonds, and mutual funds. My options only increased, as did my educational experience. I recently found my professional “calling.” I now work directly for a group of litigation attorneys and love the challenge they provide.
There were several times when I glanced back on my life and wondered where I would have been or what I would have been doing if I had been raising my child rather than pursuing my dreams.
With open adoption, I have a friendship with my son’s adoptive family. It is exhilarating to learn about my son’s
dreams, goals, and aspirations, which are beginning to form. My decision to make an adoption plan for my son is repeatedly confirmed as we both continue to grow and reach toward our dreams. Bethany helped me find solutions
during the pregnancy with my son, and those solutions opened doors to a life of endless possibilities for me and for my son. I would never have achieved my goals were it not for Bethany Christian Services and the adoptive parents I selected for my son.
Carrie lives in Michigan.
To share your experience with making an adoption plan, visit Bethany’s online forum at birthparents.bethany.org.